Same here, friend. Same here.
Some days come, and the sun rises, but you really don't want to. The warmth of the sunshine spills out over your bedroom through your old farmhouse windows, but your very soul is shivering and your heart is ice cold. Your husband hops out of bed and faces the day, but you? You just can't. And with that, immense shame and guilt wash over your frozen heart, making yet another icy layer. You make it to your feet, and robotically go about your morning, sitting in self-hatred, then trying to stuff it down. You know what I mean. You've been there. Right?
You said you couldn’t get out of bed today? You felt alone and purposeless? Well, you felt more numb than anything really? You dreaded the reality of looking at that person in the mirror, the one you can never escape and the one you loathe; yourself. You wished you could hide under a rock in the ugly pit you’ve somehow found yourself thrown deep into? The suffocating pit.
But. You dragged yourself out from under the covers and you managed to stand in front that mirror, even just for a second, didn’t you? You looked back into that reflection, with pangs of doubt, clouds of confusion, pitiful self-hatred, searing disappointment, and a whole bag full of apathy, right? Same here. Seriously and honestly.
And at that very same time, you stood before a marvelous creature, beautifully and wonderfully made, a unique woman made for such a time as this, and a dearly loved child of the good Lord. In the presence of truth, of hope, of unconditional love, of delight, and of purpose and promise. In that moment, in front of that mirror and the person who is becoming a stranger, you came face to face with a story who's pages aren't yet finished. You witnessed a living and breathing miracle.
And today, you did get out of bed, even if for a minute. You did muster up courage, even if just to text your brother. You did believe in something more, even just a little bit. You did face some fear, even if you haven't yet conquered it. You did.
You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are valued. You are loved.
Choose Truth. Live Loved. 🖤